What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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