-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

How do you spell eight? 8

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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