ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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One, two, three, four and five

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dat shoe shine tho

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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