Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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