Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

Justin beiber's penis

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...