Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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