Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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69

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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