Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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p lkl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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