Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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