i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -4

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

this last joke was a correction to the other one

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops