Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Jersey Shore.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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