A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -34

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

30cm = 0,3meters

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

100 chefs walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops