There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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THe Election

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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