Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops