Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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why did the man buy kool aid? because it was on sale and he was thirsty

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops