- Anti Joke

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola