What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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THe Election

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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