One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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Caramel Boing.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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