My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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96

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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were at work systems r down

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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