How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Sloths

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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