A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops