Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Tall asians

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops