What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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MAKE

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops