What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Christianity.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops