Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

VaginaBoob ^.^

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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