Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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well now

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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