A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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