Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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i like pie

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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