how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -46

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -70

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -98

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -112

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +65

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Your eye color is very unique.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops