What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Netball.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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pussy enough said

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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