How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Women's Rights..

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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