- Anti Joke

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back