when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman wears a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops