Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops