why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Ben Affleck

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Poop

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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