there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Ben Affleck

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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