What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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can you touch your toes? no

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops