People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

a man walked into a bar....

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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