what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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a man walked into a bar....

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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