If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

thumb_up thumb_down -6

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops