My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

Women's Rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

why did you poop because you are a poop

And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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