What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops