What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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alex is cool

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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