A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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