Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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PENIS

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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