Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops