- Anti Joke

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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