Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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