A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

You tell me. I have amnesia.

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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