Roses are red. Violets are blue.

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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