Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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