Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +10

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to my sunglasses?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops