You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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