how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

Call of Duty is a good game.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

Barack Obama is a good president.

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

Yanter, Look it up

How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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