Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is white and long? A New York winter

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -13

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops