I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops